Jodi the Roach Slayer

Amy says Shenzhen is the best city,

But I would say those are words of insanity.

You’ll realize you’re wrong when you see roaches everywhere,

All you can do then is scream in despair.

We first crossed paths in a conference room,

A season when beautiful flowers would all bloom.

Suddenly the whole room started to scream,

Because they see a roach:

OMG how big it seemed.

I am not ashamed to admit,

I was scared to death by this little shit.

But luckily a brave girl smashed it good,

An act so heroic that’s worth writing in a book.

We second met at the street curb,

When I talk about it I still shiver.

Cos nothing would be more horrifying

Than a roach approaches you, flying.

But how could humans let roaches dominate!

We invented iPhone for God’s sake.

So I started my training not a minute late,

The next time I see a roach, I will make it pay!

In order not to get scared,

I must always be prepared.

So bear in mind, a bug spray is a good friend,

When a roach attacks, you’ll have the upper hand.

The next step is purely psychological,

If I do this, when I see a roach I will no longer startle.

That is to watch tons of video clips

Of roaches being killed by its nemesis:

A cat torturing a roach simply for fun,

A mantis enjoying a roach like eating a bun;

O to them you’re just a prey,

When I’m done watching those, I can’t even remember why I was afraid.

So the next time I saw a roach wandering

I sprayed and smashed it without even blinking

Every now and then I reminisce about that moment,

When I gave the fucking bastard a good long torment.

So now I’m not just some northern girl

who needs southerners’ protection,

I can slay my roach, with no hesitation

Tremble in fear! Nasty creature!

Mess with me and you’ll soon meet your creator!


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